The Past: A Clean Firefighter Romance (Just Love Book 2)

  The Past

  A Clean Firefighter Romance

  Just Love

  Part 2

  Sara Hooper

  Copyright © 2018

  All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.

  Copyright © 2018

  Danica froze. Her knees shook and a ringing burst through her ears, drowning out any other noise. She stared deep into Logan’s worried eyes. His lips moved, but she couldn’t tell what he was saying. Logan wanted a baby – with her – and she couldn’t figure out how to feel.

  “Danica.” Logan’s voice finally broke through. He placed his hand on her thigh, and she flinched. “I know this is a lot to ask, and you don’t have to reply right away.”

  “A baby!?” she squealed, her voice cracking. She stood and paced in front of him. “You want us to have a baby? Together!? Do you know how much pressure that is? They say never to work with friends, but this puts us on a whole new planet. A whole new level. We’ll be co-parenting. Do I even want to have a baby right now? I mean, I’m not getting any younger, but…”

  Suddenly, Logan was standing in front of her, and he grabbed her arms. “You’re spinning out. That’s totally understandable, but you have to know what I’m really asking of you here. I’m the one that wants to be the parent. I also don’t have the patience to sift through strangers who I don’t have time to get to know and ask them to rent me their uterus. You do not have to take on any of the responsibility. You’re the oven that bakes the cookies.”

  “Cookies!?” she shouted, spitting on his face, “You want me to do this multiple times?”

  “Okay, that was a bad analogy. I’m sorry. Listen to me very carefully,” he looked into her eyes and her body relaxed, “I want one child and I’m prepared to care for it all on my own. I’m not asking for an answer now, but you’re my best shot to get this going right away. It’s late, I know, so sleep on it. I have a week off in a couple days, and we can discuss it in more detail then. I know you don’t like making decisions without all the information first, that’s why I’ve already done tons of research on the process.”

  “That must have killed your brain,” Danica chuckled, no longer hearing her heartbeat in her ears, “The last time I saw you voluntarily pick up a book was in senior year of high school.”

  Logan smiled. “Then you should know how seriously I’m taking this. I’m not jumping into this on a whim, like the time I took my dad’s car to the prom without permission. I’m not a dumb kid anymore.”

  “You don’t have to sell yourself to me,” she said, trying to breathe slowly, “I know that you’ll be a great parent. This is just so overwhelming. I thought for sure that when you started a family, you’d be married and living in the suburbs. You’ve always been a family man, but being pregnant for someone else is a big commitment.”

  “Go to sleep,” he said, “Think about it and I’ll come see you in a couple days. I have a plan that might help you decide what to do. You might like being Aunty Danica, or whatever you want to be called, to a kid you helped create. It sounds like a weird situation, but our relationship has never been conventional. You’re my wingman, in every sense of the word.”

  “You’re excited for this,” she grinned, “I can see it in your eyes.” Pulling him into a hug, she said, “I’ll think about it. Did you want to spend the night here?”

  “We’re not in college anymore, I don’t need to crash on your couch like a stoner.” Logan laughed, pulling out of her hug, then cringed when he saw her raised eyebrows and crossed arms. “Okay, it would be nice to sleep now instead of taking the hour-long trip home. I’ll probably be gone before you get up tomorrow, so I’ll say goodbye now.”

  “Sweet dreams, Logan,” she said, and went to the hall closet to grab him a blanket. “Head’s up!” she said, as she threw it at his face.

  He caught it with both hands. “You’ll never catch me off guard,” he said with a wink. Then, he laid out on the couch and fell asleep within minutes. Danica waited until he was sound asleep before heading upstairs to her bed.

  A couple days went by, and Danica hadn’t heard anything from Logan. His request lingered in the back of her mind while she was in meetings, out to lunch with Katie, and yelling at her employees. On the first day of Logan’s week off, she was on the phone with a potential client, and had her feet propped up on her desk. She picked at the lint on her dress and struggled to focus on the client’s words.

  Just then, a six-year-old boy, with curly brown hair and brown eyes, raced into her office holding a small toy airplane above his head. He made rumbling noises for the engine and pretended the plane shot lasers from its wings. As he circled the desk, Danica watched him in confusion. “I’m sorry, something’s come up,” she said to the client, “Let me transfer you.” She hung up the phone and planted her feet on the ground. “Who are you, kid? How’d you get in here? Where are your parents?”

  “They’re at home,” Logan said, walking into the office, “Enjoying a kid-free day.”

  “Logan,” she said with a mixture of anger and a smile, “Who is this kid?”

  “My name’s Adam,” said the kid, sticking out his hand for Danica to shake, “Uncle Logan said you were the wizard of fun. Is that true?”

  Danica shook his hand and laughed. “That depends on your definition of fun.” She turned to Logan, who had a big grin on his face. “What’s going on?”

  “This is my plan to help you decide,” Logan said, gesturing to his nephew.

  “What exactly is this plan?”

  “We’re going to hang out with Adam, and maybe you’ll get kid fever.”

  “I don’t have a fever,” Adam said, and Danica smiled, “I’m healthy. Right Uncle Logan?”

  “That’s right,” Logan nodded, “I know you only take an hour and a half for lunch, that’s why I chose to take us to a playground nearby. Surprisingly, there are a lot within the city. Come on, Danica, I already packed us a lunch.” He held up a backpack with a cartoon train on it.

  “I already have a lunch in the fridge. I was planning on eating at my desk.”

  “It’s peanut butter and jelly.”

  “My weakness,” Danica huffed, “Okay, you’ve got a deal.”

  The three of them went outside and walked along the sidewalk. Adam stood between them and held each of their hands. They lifted him up every few steps and swung him back and forth. People walking by smiled at them, and Danica’s brain whirled with panic.

  “You did say I didn’t have to help you raise the kid if I don’t want to,” Danica said when they neared the playground, “So, how is this going to help me decide?”

  “I don’t know,” Logan shrugged, “Seeing me with my nephew might spark something in you. You could have so much fun with us that you’ll be dying to help me start my own family. The logic was sound in my head, but now I’m confusing myself.”

  “I’m hungry,” Adam whined.

  “We’re going to eat soon,” Logan said. He opened the gate to the public playground with a slide, a swing set, monkey bars, and a small tower to climb on. Most of the ground was grassy, but the rest was covered in wood chips. Danica sat on a bench, then Logan said, “Don’t you dare sit way over there.” Pulling a large picnic blanket from his duffel bag, he fanned it out on a patch of grass. “We’re going old school, so g
et over here.”

  Danica scoffed. “I’m in a dress. Are you kidding me? I’m not sitting on the ground.”

  “I’ll give you my hoodie to cover you.”

  “No.”

  “Please?” Adam said, jutting out his bottom lip. One look into his innocent eyes, and her heart melted.

  “Okay,” she said, and came over to sit with them. She slipped out of her heels and awkwardly tucked her legs under her to sit. Logan placed his hoodie over her legs and tucked the sides underneath her. “Okay, I think I’m good.”

  “Just trying to help,” Logan said. He handed out the sandwiches, and Adam scarfed his down, so he could go play. Logan and Danica took their time, resting their shoulders against each other, picking at the fruit he brought and sipping out of juice boxes. “I hope you know I’m not trying to pressure you.”

  “I know.”

  “This is important to me, and I want to help you make a decision.”

  “I know.”

  “Stop saying that.”

  “Okay.” Danica watched Adam climb the tower and run in circles around the swing set with his plane. “He’s a sweet kid. How come I’ve never met him? I used to be so close with you and your brothers.”

  “Life gets in the way, especially when most of us live in different states.”

  “Why didn’t you ever get married?” Danica asked abruptly.

  Logan chuckled. “You’re hitting hard today, aren’t you?”

  “It’s a valid question. You had quite a few girlfriends, so why didn’t any work out?”

  “Like you don’t already know,” Logan said, scratching the back of his head.

  “I know why you broke up with them, but did it ever cross your mind that maybe you should propose? Were you just scared?”

  “None of them were the right for me.”

  “What about Lauren?”

  Logan’s vibrant smile fell from his face and he sat up straight. “Don’t mention Laura.”

  “I haven’t since college. She’s the one breakup you never told me much about. If she was so special, why did it end? You two together was pure puppy love. I’d never seen you laugh so hard with anyone, except me of course. She made you extremely happy, and you let her slip away.”

  “I fought for her,” Logan grumbled, “Don’t you dare say I never did. She was my soulmate, but I wasn’t hers.”

  “I can’t believe that’s true. One time she told me that she could see you guys growing old together. She had your whole lives planned out. You don’t do that with someone you don’t want to spend your life with. She was perfect for you, and she loved you so deeply. What happened?”

  “She dumped me, that was it,” Logan said, keeping a close eye on Adam.

  “There’s got to be more to it.”

  “Leave it alone, Danica.”

  “So, there is something!” Danica laughed and poked Logan’s ticklish spots on his torso.

  “Danica.”

  “Don’t Danica me, just tell me. I’ve always wanted to know.”

  “She was pregnant.”

  Danica’s smile faded, and she leaned back, resting her palms in the grass. “Pregnant? What do you mean she was pregnant?”

  “How many definitions can there be? She was pregnant. She got an abortion, broke up with me, then moved back home.”

  Danica placed her hand on his thigh, but he pushed it away. “So, you wanted her to keep it then?”

  “Yes, we fought about it for days.”

  “How did I not know?”

  “It was over Christmas break, remember? You were studying abroad, and I stayed behind because I couldn’t get the scholarship to pay for it.”

  “Oh,” she whispered, hanging her head, “I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you.”

  “It was a long time ago,” he said, forcing himself to smile.

  “I’m sure the pain is still there. Do you ever wonder what could have been?”

  “Not so much now,” Logan said, “It would be a lot different if she had the baby and gave it up for adoption. That’s in the past and I’m looking forward to my new family. I don’t need Lauren to have a kid, and I won’t let the past affect how I am as a father. I love Adam, like he’s my own, and I’ll have more than enough love leftover for my kid.”

  “This almost makes my decision harder,” Danica said, rubbing her face, “I want to do this because I know how much you want it, but I don’t know if I can commit myself to something like this. I don’t want to let you down or be selfish, but I have to think of myself a little here.”

  “Listen to me,” Logan said, still watching Adam, “You’re the one person who could never let me down, no matter what you do in any situation. I wouldn’t be who I am without you. You should never worry about being selfish or disappointing me.” He shuffled closer to her and cupped his hands around her cheeks. “You show people that you’re a strong, confident woman, but I know you have insecurities. You want people to like and respect you, but other people don’t matter. It’s you and me, right? That’s all we need. Your friendship is the moment important thing to me, and without it I’d be lost.”

  “I feel the same way,” Danica said, holding his wrists. She smiled, but she was confused about how hearing the word ‘friendship’ made her feel. It wasn’t strong enough to describe their bond. They were like two souls with one heart. When one felt pain, so did the other. Being apart was an unbearable feat, especially for prolonged periods. He was like family, but even that word didn’t sit right with her. “You’re such a cheeseball,” Danica interjected after a moment of silence.

  Quickly, their conversation changed to a light and playful one as they both laughed. When they finished eating, Danica reluctantly put her shoes back on to join the boys on the playground. Danica tried to play tag, but she was too slow and was always the tagger. She watched as the boys climbed the tower and played on the monkey bars, then pushed both Logan and Adam on the swing set. For a while, she forgot about any responsibilities and enjoyed seeing Logan with his nephew. To everyone else, Logan was a tough fireman with few words to speak, but Danica knew better.

  As their playdate neared its end, Logan and Adam raced on the monkey bars. When it was Adam’s turn, he tried to skip ahead three bars like his uncle. He missed and fell, scraping his knee. “Uncle!” he shouted, clutching his knee to his chest, leaning against the pole.

  Logan jumped into action before Danica realized what happened. Danica’s heart stopped, and she ran to his side to comfort him. Logan raced to get the backpack and pulled out a bandage and some wipes to clean out the cut. “You’re okay, buddy,” Logan said, dabbing Adam’s knee. “You barely even cried. You’re so strong.”

  “I’ll never be as strong as you,” Adam sniffed.

  “Do you think Logan was always this big?” Danica asked, stroking his hair, “When I met him, he was tiny like you.”

  “Really?” Adam asked, wiping a tear from his cheek.

  “Yeah,” Danica said, standing up to let Logan dress the wound, “It took a long time for him to get all those muscles. I’m sure you can do the same if you want to.”

  “Woohoo!” Adam cheered, “I’m going to be a firefighter!”

  Logan high-fived Adam, then kissed his knee. “All better?”

  Adam nodded, then ran to the swings. Danica went to sit on the bench, and watched Logan push his nephew as high as he could. She smiled at their loving interactions, then looked at her phone. Her heart stopped when she noticed she was five minutes late to work. “Logan,” Danica said, trying to stay calm, “I should really be heading back now. Can we get out of here?” Her heart pounded, and Logan checked his watch.

  “Crap!” he said, “I lost track of time. Let’s go.” Logan picked Adam up and let him sit on his shoulders. Danica quickly packed everything up, while Adam and Logan cheered her on like she was in a race. Then, they rushed out of the park and headed back to her office.

  They stopped in the lobby, and Logan put Adam down. He started running
in circles around Logan and Danica while they talked. “I had a lot of fun,” Danica said, “Let’s do it again, but maybe when I have more time.”

  “I see the look of panic in your eyes. I hope you’re not going to get in trouble for being late.”

  “I’ll just tell everyone I had a family emergency if they ask,” she said, struggling to speak the words, as she never liked lying, “I’m the boss, so I doubt they’ll question me anyway.”

  “I’m proud of you,” he said, hugging her, “You’ve accomplished so much, and before you know it you’ll be taking over the world.”

  “Excuse me?” she said, placing a hand on her hip. “I’m already doing that. You’re the one that’s limiting yourself only working at one firehall. Your services are needed across the world.”

  “I’m one person. How much can I do?”

  “Clone yourself, obviously,” she replied, nudging his side.

  “You’re the smart one. Why haven’t you done that to yourself yet?”

  “I’m one of a kind, baby. Cloning me would only be a disservice to society.”

  “Whatever,” Logan said, grabbing Adam’s hand, “Let’s go, buddy. See you, Danica.”

  “See you,” she said, watching them walk to the exit. She breathed deeply, trying to muster the courage to say what she needed to. Her knees shook and when she opened her mouth, nothing came out. “Man up, Danica,” she said, then ran outside to catch up with them. “Logan!” she yelled.

  He turned around and smiled. “Can’t get enough of me, can you?”

  “Logan, I know what I want to do,” she said, feeling her throat dry up, “I’ve made my decision.”

  Check out the next part of the series HERE

 

 

  Sara Hooper, The Past: A Clean Firefighter Romance (Just Love Book 2)

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